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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Gyeonggi-daero. You know, the one with the cute barista? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a caramel macchiato. But guess what? They were outta caramel! Like, how do you run outta caramel? I was like, “Dude, what’s next? No coffee?” So I settled for a plain ol’ latte. Not the same, but whatever.

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